Your teen may have recently experienced a traumatic loss. This tip sheet provides ways you can support your teen through shock, grief, and trauma, towards healthy healing.
1. Create a Safe, Open Space for Conversations
- Invite Dialogue: Let your teen know you’re available to talk. They may not open up right away but having a trusted space helps.
- Active Listening: Listen more than you speak. Give them the chance to share and acknowledge their feelings without judgment or trying to “fix” the situation.
- Validate Their Feelings: Remind them that any feelings—sadness, fear, anger, confusion—are normal responses to tragedy.
2. Recognize Signs of Trauma and Grief
- Physical and Emotional Reactions: Teens may experience sadness, anger, confusion, anxiety, or even numbness. Physical signs include fatigue, headaches, or stomach aches.
- Changes in Behaviour: Withdrawal, irritability, sleep issues, or sudden academic struggles are common reactions to trauma.
- Long-Term Support Needs: Trauma can have lasting effects. Continue to monitor your teen’s well-being and reach out for support if needed.
3. Guide Them in Expressing Emotions
- Provide Outlets: Encourage healthy ways to express grief, like journaling, creating art, or physical activities.
- Discuss Safety Concerns: Teens may feel heightened anxiety around gatherings or public events. Remind them it’s okay to express fears and avoid certain activities temporarily or even permanently. Do not be afraid to tell them about your fears in a calm way, so that you can honestly discuss this together and come up with plans to ensure that they are safe.
- Model Emotional Expression: Be open about your own feelings. This models healthy emotional expression and shows that adults grieve too.
4. Avoid Pressuring Them to Move on Quickly
- Allow Time for Healing: Remind your teen that grief doesn’t have a fixed timeline. They may feel fine one day and struggle the next.
- Respect Their Process: Teens process trauma and loss at their own pace. Some may want to talk openly, while others may withdraw temporarily.
5. Provide Reassurance and Foster Safety
- Reaffirm Their Safety: Traumatic events can shake a teen’s sense of security and safety. Reassure them that it’s normal to feel unsafe initially, and work on ways to restore a sense of normalcy.
- Monitor Media Exposure: Graphic content or constant exposure to news can heighten distress. Help your teen limit exposure to images or details that can be retraumatizing.
6. Encourage Peer Support
- Support Positive Social Connections: Talking with friends who experienced the event may help but remind them it’s okay to set boundaries if conversations become overwhelming.
- Promote Group Healing Activities: Teens may find it helpful to attend memorials, group support sessions, or other safe, collective ways of processing grief.
Professional Resources for Support
It’s okay—and sometimes necessary—to seek professional help after a traumatic event. Below are resources available in Bermuda for both immediate and ongoing support:
- School Counselling Services: Many schools provide on-site counselling. Reach out to your teen’s school counsellor for additional support and resources.
- Family Centre Bermuda offers counselling and therapeutic services for teens and families at no charge to families. Visit www.tfc.bm or call (441) 232-1116 for more information.
Remember:
Helping your teen through this traumatic event requires patience and openness. Encourage them to express their emotions, reassure them of their safety, and know when to seek additional support. Healing takes time, and your support plays an important role in their journey toward resilience.